Working on Crawling...and other news...

Taken today!

Matthew is working really hard at crawling. He gets himself up on his hands and knees, but then has difficulty moving very far. He's so far excellent at pivoting himself around and with the help of a little rolling can move himself pretty darn well.  I can't leave him out of my sight for long.  I have a feeling that he'll get the movement thing down pretty soon, so I better start thinking about childproofing the house a little more seriously.

Oh and I have mentioned that he says Mum & Ma?  Well he does and has been doing so for nearly a month now.  I gotta admit, he definitely charms his Mommy when he says either of them. Especially since everyone told me "Da da" would be first.  We are guessing he can say the M sound sooner, because his name starts with an M and he hears it all the time.

In other news:
I got out my resume and started to work on it a bit.  It's quite rusty, to say the least. I will probably need to take a resume course or something.  Thankfully the Navy offers services to spouses for such things. (Thank you, DOD!)

Matthew's Nana (my Mom) is coming out next week to be here for my 27th birthday. My Mom tries to never miss spending a birthday with me and so far she's only missed one (my 23rd and 1st in Hawaii.) I give her big props. This is a tradition that I definitely think I'd like to pass on with my kids, if they are cool with it.

Happy Homecoming!

Avery arrived home from Westpac yesterday afternoon. I am so happy to have him home. It was a very emotional day for me. I admit it, I sobbed when he came off that boat. I was so relieved to see him. This deployment was a hard one for us. Obviously, pregnancy compounded by the fact that I wasn't working this time, made it seem very long. We did it though.

I just want to thank all of those people that helped me get through this deployment. I can't thank you enough for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. It means a lot to have so much support.

Onto the next chapter- our baby being born and SHORE DUTY!

Missing You

I miss....how you rub my back at night, so I can fall asleep.

I miss....taking you to work in the morning and coming home to watch the news.

I miss....telling you all the mundane details.

I miss....texting you just to tell you I love you.

I miss....the smile you give me when you come home from work.

I miss....cooking dinner for us.

I miss....kissing you. Okay, I miss this A LOT!

I miss....the smell of the submarine.

I miss....uniforms hanging up in the laundry room.

I miss....empty energy drink cans in the car.

I miss....listening to you pay video games.

I miss....almost everything.

I miss.....my best friend.

Little Life Update

Not much is going on here. I was in Illinois visiting family for a month and now I am home trying to get back into my groove.

I had a 6 week u/s and there is just one baby. Part of me morns the loss of that embryo and yet another part sighs with relief at just having one. I have a lot of morning sickness. I cry a lot when I am alone....I just can't help it.

I miss Avery desperately. This deployment feels very long at times. They did finally port and I have spoken to him, which is nice, but it also makes it worse I fear to say. It's sometimes easier to not know where they are and to not be wondering when the next phone call will come in.

I applied for a new passport (mine was lost somewhere in the many moves I made before I got married), on the off chance that I will go meet the boat somewhere. I honestly do not think I will, because it is so very expensive, but I want to have the chance.

We are up in the air about when he will be able to re-enlist (due to the government being broke). Until that gets figured out, we have no idea where we'll be going to shore duty. If things don't work out with that, then we still have the option of him staying on the boat for another year, which would mean a 3rd deployment with this boat. I hate that option, but will go with it if we have to.

As for me, I am just doing enough work to get my degree done as quickly as possible. I don't care about my GPA anymore. It's time to just pass school and get out. I am beyond burnt out. That nursing degree that I had intended to finish after getting this degree may have to wait awhile longer or never happen. I am more & more okay with not finishing it.

Hope all are well.

A look back on Submarine Ball 2011

Submarine Birthday Ball was last week Friday. Though Avery was out to sea, I still went and had an amazing time! I was very honored to meet the MCPON (highest ranking enlisted guy in the Navy) and get his coin! I even met one of the Admirals. For a gal whose spouse has really just begun his Navy career, in the grand scheme of things, this was quite exciting.
Now pictures:



















My professional picture for my Mom & his Mom. They insisted on pictures of their daughter. ;-)




















Loved my dress and the photographer was kind enough to take this one for me.














With the MCPON when I received his coin.

Great Day!

Today is a great day! I am exhausted, but otherwise feeling good. I had an u/s today to check things out and as expected everything looks great. I have already started the oral fertility drug (Femara for those in the know) and tomorrow I start the injectable medication (Follistim). Monday it's back for a check and schedule the egg retrieval. Everything is going exactly as our doctor said it would and that makes me feel so calm. I am so happy I could cry! After such a hard time...we are finally on the road to getting pregnant.

Now that I have a little time, I thought I'd post some pictures of our farewell. They had a BBQ on the pier for the families before the boat left. It was very nice. I can't thank our Submarine Squadron enough for such a nice time.














Our goodbye hug! I was crying into his shoulder at this point.













The Caption waves goodbye from the bridge of the submarine. He's a great guy and I know is taking good care of my guy and his shipmates.

Last Bit of Time Before He Leaves

Avery, my favorite guy in the world (& husband) is home again. They passed inspection and are ready to go on deployment. This is our last bit of time together before he leaves. I wish I could hold onto him forever sometimes. The last few days before deployment's are always the hardest for me, because you know how little time you have left and just want to savor it all.

We went to the commissary together today; something that I realized we hadn't done since very early in our marriage. It was sort of fun to see him realize just how much money I save us with coupons. He knew I used coupons, but I don't think he realized just how much money I can save in one trip.

Our infertility doctor gave us the plan and now we're just waiting on my body. Everything else is set to go! Yay! I can't wait for the day that I get to tell him he's a Daddy.

Well...better finish this up. Avery will be home from work soon to do more things on my...I mean his to-do list.

How we do it

Most people who know me would consider me pretty resilient when it comes to dealing with the countless underways and then the deployments. And for the most part I would agree with that. I always miss him, but I don't feel awful or cry everyday. I just deal with it. It's my life and a life I accepted because I believe in the defense of our country & others, but mostly...I accepted it because I love him more then anything in the world. (Plus someone has to do it.)

I rarely talk about the heart ache of him not being here (or at least I think I rarely talk about it). It's just a part of our lives and we just do it. There's no secret to how we get through it. I send emails as I come up with enough worth telling him. He sends emails when he isn't super busy working. When he pulls into a port, he calls me...always calls me first. It has been that way since we were dating.

We have an amazing group of family & friends (both civilian & military) who support us and the work that Avery does without question. I am so thankful for all of them.

I mention this today, because I had what I call a "moment." A moment where I miss him & feel his absence so strongly that I have to cry just to release the pain. These are pretty rare, but when they happen I just have to let them out. I don't think holding in that pain is healthy.

In conclusion: we have no secret...we just do it. We/I cry when needed and then keep on going.

A Typical Saturday Duty Day

Preface: Duty days mean that my husband is on the submarine all day/night and doesn't come home until the next day. Avery is currently on 4-section, which means he has duty every 4 days...sometimes it's 3-section, but we're currently lucky.

So today, while I was doing nothing with my weekend I got to thinking of what the typical weekend duty day is like (it's totally different for me during the week.)

7:30am: Take spouse to duty and tell him to text me.
7:45am: Get home and go back to sleep.
9am: Get up and check email.
10:15am: Finally eat breakfast and wonder what to do with myself.
11:00am: Call Mom for entertainment.
Noon: Print coupons and contemplate a trip to Target.
12:30pm: Clean up the patio and do dishes.
12:50pm: Wander around the house wondering what to do with myself.
1pm: Watch tv/read a book and fall asleep.
2pm: Wake up to dog whining...let him out.
2:03pm: Tell dog to stop barking.
2:30pm: Wander about the house again feeling bored.
3:15pm: Finally go to Target to kill time.
4pm: Realize car gas gauge is on empty; get gas and turn up the radio full blast when Madonna's Vogue comes on.
4:01pm: Text Avery lyrics to Macarena just for the hell of it.
4:30pm: Eat popcorn and flip channels as there is nothing good to watch.
5pm: Avery texts back finally.
5:30pm: He must be bored, he's still texting.
6pm: Play Jeopardy on Nintendo DS and think I should've made plans with someone whose spouse is deployed.
7pm: Play some silly shark game on the internet.
8pm: Add more books to my virtual book shelf.
9pm: Think that maybe I should eat dinner
10pm: Decide to go to bed, because I have nothing else to do.

Hope you enjoyed a look into my life.

Long Rant

So my husband extended on the boat last year, for another year so he could go on this year's Westpac deployment. Well apparently the idiots who deal with inputting data from the old paper service record (they just went paperless), never inputted this extension...soooo according to my health insurance which is controlled by the DEERS system, Avery was terminated by the military at the beginning of this year. However, everywhere else says he's still active duty. Yet, until this one system is fixed, I have no health care eligibility of any sort. I called the hotline that they say to call and get an idiot with no sympathetic bone in his body. He tells me my husband's Yeoman (fancy name for people that handle administrative stuff/very important to have) is an idiot and that we never told the military system he was extending. Of course I freak out; this man just says I am out of luck and he cannot do anything. I hang up and find the paper service record that we now have in our possession and what do you know...the paperwork stating he extended on the boat is right there. Signed, sealed and mentioned. So what is the solution now?? I have to somehow get my husband out of work in time to go down to the computer records place and have them update it.
So you want to know where your tax dollars are going??? To pay the unhelpful guy on the phone who is supposed to manage my entire record of info with the military.
End rant!

A Nightmare

So...getting ready for the big deciding doctor's appointment tomorrow and the labs I need for that appointment were nowhere to be found. I sat at the base clinic lab while they tried to sort out where my labs were or in this case why they weren't done. Finally it was determined that the person at the lab last week didn't input in the correct stuff. I broke down crying there....I couldn't help it. I just needed my freakin' labs! Finally after a lot of calling around, they sent me up to Tripler to have the labs re-drawn and processed STAT. Seriously....a nightmare....UGH!!!!

Happy Veteran's Day!

Today is Veteran's Day. Since my husband is underway, defending our nation...I think of the day with more distinction.
Avery is really modest about the work he does and the sacrifices he makes. I always thank him for his service and he down plays it. He doesn't think that he does that much. But he does...he leaves for weeks & months at a time getting to hear little from home. All to defend the freedom of many.

Thank you to Avery, my husband & hero and so many others who have defended our freedom or currently do so. Without you, there would be no land of the free.

Happy Veteran's Day!

Military Spouse Fill-in Friday...done on Friday!

It's time for this week's edition of MilSpouse Friday Fill-In. You can link up over at Wife of a Sailor's Blog if you'd like to participate! Or, if you don't blog, go ahead and answer the questions in the comments section.

1. What secret indulgence do you act on while your spouse is away?
Eating in bed, but I suspect he knows this...ah well, I can pretend it's a secret.

2. If you were a spice, what would you be?
Interesting question.....I'm going to say parsley, because it's dependable and I generally consider myself a dependable person.

3. Where do you go for support when your significant other is deployed?
My Mom, my military wife friends and my civilian wife friends. Love them all.

4. What is the oldest thing you own?Some jewelry that was my Oma's.

Hope everyone had a good Friday. I am ready to head for bed with my food in hand. ;-)

Military Spouse Fill-in Friday...done a day late AGAIN

Here I am doing this one a day late, again! I seem to forget about it on Friday's. Oh well, enjoy a Saturday edition.

t's time for this week's edition of MilSpouse Friday Fill-In. You can link up over at Wife of a Sailor's Blog if you'd like to participate! Or, if you don't blog, go ahead and answer the questions in the comments section.

1. If you could be a fugitive from the law for whatever reason, what would your crime be?
Rowing out to sea to find the submarine....hahaha...j/k!

2. How long do you think you will be a military family?

At least 15 more years.

3. What’s your favorite recipe?

Crock pot beef stew handed down my family....it's delicious.

4. What would you want your last five words to be when you leave this life?

"I go to God now." Or something like that.

5. Where do you hope to retire?This is a huge debate in our home. We both have mentioned like 10 different places, however if I could pick the place I'd go with San Antonio, Texas.

Military Spouse Fill-in Friday...done a day late

It's time for this week's edition of MilSpouse Friday Fill-In. You can link up over at Wife of a Sailor's Blog if you'd like to participate! Or, if you don't blog, go ahead and answer the questions in the comments section.

1. What is your Spouse's best feature?
His upper body: the chest, shoulders and upper arms. He's very strong and I love it!

2. Mild, Medium or Hot sauce?
Medium...I always try the hot sauces that my husband likes, but I honestly can't tolerate more then a try.

3. What is the worst uniform you had to wear for a job?
I've never had a job where I had a uniform per say. I suppose the few times where my scrubs got messy at the hospital and I had to change into hospital issued surgical scrubs that were huge on me would be the only thing that remotely covers this question.

4. You have invisible powers...where is the first place you would go?
My husband's submarine....just because I am so curious to see how things are when they are underway....I mean the know what they do, but I want to see what it's really like. (And dependent's cruises don't count, because you know they're on their best behavior then.)

5. What's left on your "to-do" list for this summer?
Go to my cousin's wedding and that will be accomplished soon. :-)

Just a few thoughts....

Yesterday morning as I was driving my husband to work, we got stuck momentarily because of a fender bender and while we were sitting there stopped I noticed a truck in the other lane that had a decal on the back that was a hand with the middle finger up. Now maybe it was the time of day (I am not a person who is very friendly before 8am), but that struck me as being so disrespectful. Disrespectful to the people who have to see it and I think a self-disrespect for the person driving the vehicle. It seems a shame to me that our culture/society seems to think vulgar symbols are cool or fun.
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Last evening I was re-elected secretary of our FRG (Family Readiness Group), which means I have signed myself up for yet another year of service to my husband's command and our boat family. Fast attack submarine's have such small crews compared to surface ships, that we really are like a family. Whether we like it or not, if you don't keep your nose clean the whole boat knows. Pillow talk at my house sometimes consists of my spouse and I telling each other what happened on "da boat." At times it is frustrating, but for the most part it is comforting and honestly I love the dynamics of it.
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Couponing! I love it!!!!! I've always been a fan of coupons and used them, but sometime last year I really got heavily into couponing and now many of my friends are all into couponing too. It's great fun and I love finding a spectacular deal. For example, I saved nearly $30 at Target yesterday with all my coupons. :-)
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Alright, enough for today. I have got things to do. Peace out friends. I love you!

Busy Life

In January I decided to volunteer to work with the family group (FRG) of my husband's boat. (Note: Submarines are boats & Surface ships are ships. This is an important distinction.) Well, it is now mid-April and I am busy every week with FRG stuff. I had planned to volunteer with the Retired Affairs office, but I don't know that I will have time any longer to do so. Anyway, that's pretty much my life.

Tv viewing:
American Idol- I can't say how happy I was that Megan finally got booted last week. She was annoying and in the words of Simon Cowell "terrible." This week Scott got the boot and to be quite honest I didn't care either way. He was good, but there are others who are much more versatile performers. However, I do see Scott possibly getting signed somewhere. His piano skills are very good.

Dancing With the Stars- Steve Wozniak & Holly Madison finally got voted off last week and thank goodness for that. They were awful dancers. I know everyone says "well, Holly didn't get the full amount of time and blah, blah, blah..." That woman was a bad dancer and I don't think a few extra weeks would have helped her. This week had the surprise of David Allen Grier getting the boot. He really didn't deserve that, because he was a decent dancer. I like Steve-O, but he just can't dance. However, this shows how fans voting make a big impact. Steve-O has the fan base so he stays.

Hell's Kitchen- Finally Carol got cut last week. I thought Gordon Ramsey was never going to let that woman go. This week should be interesting. I am looking forward to what happens tonight.

Aloha from the Islands....have a great evening!