Day 1

Gosh I am terrible at this blogging thing! I get into for awhile and then I seem to fade away. Can I blame that on the fact that I am a Navy wife whose spouse has a crazy, often unpredictable schedule? Hmm....sure, why the heck not? It's a good excuse.

It's a rainy day today in the Islands and my allergies continue to be miserable, thanks to all the blooming plants. I went to the doctor this week thinking I had yet another sinus infection and all she said was "Are you taking your allergy meds?" and we all know my reply was a meek "sometimes." Apparently my occasional use of the allergy medications isn't cutting it, so I am going to be taking them full time now. I hope they work, because feeling like you have a constant sinus infection isn't so fun. Or maybe it could just stop raining and let things get a little drier around here....okay, that's not happening; back to reality (and the allegra/flonase combo)!

My husband is working a lot (take that to mean what you will), but since he's busy I shall give myself a blogging challenge. This didn't work the last time, but since I have more time to kill....it just might work this time.
Today is day 1 and I hope you enjoyed my little ramblings. Toodles!

Just a few thoughts....

Yesterday morning as I was driving my husband to work, we got stuck momentarily because of a fender bender and while we were sitting there stopped I noticed a truck in the other lane that had a decal on the back that was a hand with the middle finger up. Now maybe it was the time of day (I am not a person who is very friendly before 8am), but that struck me as being so disrespectful. Disrespectful to the people who have to see it and I think a self-disrespect for the person driving the vehicle. It seems a shame to me that our culture/society seems to think vulgar symbols are cool or fun.
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Last evening I was re-elected secretary of our FRG (Family Readiness Group), which means I have signed myself up for yet another year of service to my husband's command and our boat family. Fast attack submarine's have such small crews compared to surface ships, that we really are like a family. Whether we like it or not, if you don't keep your nose clean the whole boat knows. Pillow talk at my house sometimes consists of my spouse and I telling each other what happened on "da boat." At times it is frustrating, but for the most part it is comforting and honestly I love the dynamics of it.
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Couponing! I love it!!!!! I've always been a fan of coupons and used them, but sometime last year I really got heavily into couponing and now many of my friends are all into couponing too. It's great fun and I love finding a spectacular deal. For example, I saved nearly $30 at Target yesterday with all my coupons. :-)
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Alright, enough for today. I have got things to do. Peace out friends. I love you!

Settled back in at home

Yes, that's me! I got in on Tuesday afternoon and have spent the past 2 days getting my house back the way I like it. That's not to say that my spouse is a slob, because he is far from it, but there are still things that we do differently around the house. I am glad to be back.

My Mom is supposed to fly in, in May. This will be a great time for her to come and I am so happy she's coming. I really appreciate her commitment to flying to see me fairly frequently. I am really lucky, I realize, that my Mom is able to come so often.

I have made the decision to not discuss the fertility issues as much anymore. I realized while I was home that I was making myself so much more depressed about not conceiving by focusing on it. Yes, it pains me to be seemingly unable to get pregnant, but it's not the end of the world. There are plenty of options for us if needed. But for now infertility does not have to be my life focus. I am making the resolve, sort of like I did with resolving to be happy earlier this year. That resolve is going well, so I figure I can succeed at another resolve too.

I am happy and I love my friends. [Just had to throw that in there.]

Life is never fair......but today is a new day

So much has happened since I last wrote here. Avery took some leave and we were peacefully enjoying the first day of it when I got a call that shook my world up a bit. My Grandpa (Mom's father) passed away February 22nd. I was so surprised, as I wasn't expecting to get the call at all. You see my Oma has terminal cancer and I really expected to be hearing of her death. Anyway.....2 days after he passed away I was on a midnight flight to STL. I arrived in STL on Thursday and the funeral was Saturday. Everything was horribly sad and the emptiness in the house has continued to linger. (My Grandparents live with my Mom). I will have stayed 3 weeks when I finally return home on March 16th. I have missed Avery a lot. I missed out on all of his leave and I know he was very disappointed, but life isn't fair for any of us.

[To top it all off I was suffering from a lingering sinus infection. Thank goodness my doctor loaded me up with all sorts of medication several hours before I got on the plane.]

Today is a new day and I am sitting here watching spring peak through Southern Illinois. My Oma is being admitted to the hospital, because of fluid build up related to the cancer. This is the end and I am terribly sad, but doing my best to be positive. Selfishly I want her to hang on for a month or so, so I can go home for awhile. I need to be back in Hawaii with Avery just to get grounded again.

No inspiration

Usually if I think hard enough I can come up with some sort of inspiration and a topic, but at this particular moment I've got nothing.

I've been reading a new blog lately about a lady who on paper seems so different from me, but as I've read more there seems to be more things in common then you'd expect. Anyway....I think that's interesting.

I don't feel like talking about the infertility issues. Sometimes it consumes me and I am trying desperately to avoid that from happening completely. It's funny....if I lived in the civilian world I probably wouldn't feel nearly as much pressure to get pregnant. In desperation when Avery was out to sea last, I told my Mom I just wanted to be back to a normal life. But then I realized that the military life is our normal and if Avery got out, we would be lost. The military life isn't for everyone, but it's for us. And if it takes us 5 years to get pregnant, then that's how it will be and that will be our "normal." Okay...that's enough of that. On to a new topic: THE OLYMPICS!

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS. Just absolutely love them and now that we have digital cable and DVR, I have been able to see so much more of them. To the point where I am getting little sleep, because I am staying up so late to watch them. I was so pleased that a US man won the gold medal for men's figure skating. In case you weren't aware, that hasn't happened since 1988. What a great achievement for men's figure skating and the USA. Go team!

Because notes with questions are fun....

1. Who was your first prom date?
My freshmen year of high school, a senior asked me to go with him to his Prom, so technically my first prom date was a guy named Dan and no I haven't a clue where he is anymore.

2. Do you still talk to your first love?
Actually I do occasionally, because though I didn't end up marrying him he was/is a decent guy and a fairly good friend.

3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
Communion wine (I am such a good Catholic!)

4. What was your first job?
Since babysitting probably doesn't count: how about the summer before my freshmen year of college when I was a Nanny & Housekeeper to some bratty kids. Sorry to be mean, but they were brats and if my future kids behave the way they did to a nanny...serious consequences will follow.

5. What was your first car?
'95 Oldsmobile Achieva

6. Who was the first person to text you today?
I actually haven't gotten any text messages today, but the day is still young.

7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
My dietitian, because I'd just had a dream with him in it.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Schull

9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane?
Denver, when I was all of 3 months old.

10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk?
Cassandra and no we do not talk any longer, because she made a few decisions in life that I just can't agree with, despite my best attempt to not judge.

11. Where was your first sleepover?
A girl, in the neighborhood that I first lived in, named Emily's house. She started snoring that night and I didn't like it, so I tried to go home. :-)

12. Who was the first person you talked to today?
Avery and NPR, because I always talk to the news radio.

13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time?
My childhood church nanny, Nancy's wedding in 1996. I was very upset to not be the flower girl, so despite my participation in the wedding, I still pouted.

14. What was the first thing you did this morning?
Drove Avery to work.

15. What was the first concert you went to?
Don't laugh: a Christian rock band, whose name I can't for the life of me recall anymore and it's the only concert I've ever been to.

16. First tattoo?
I want an anchor or a star, but my spouse says those are way too common for Navy wives to get, so he thinks I should come up with something else.

17. First piercing?
My ears. I got them as birthday present for my 6th birthday.

18. First foreign country you went to?
England in the Spring of 2002

19. First movie you remember seeing?
Sleeping Beauty, but it was a movie my parents bought and not something I saw at the theatre.

20. What state (province) did you first live in?
Illinois

21. Who was your first roommate?
Allison (last name not recalled) from Wisconsin. I lived with her for one semester. She was very nice, but much too quiet for my tastes.

22. When was your first detention?
5th grade for forgetting to bring my reading homework to school with me. That was the only time I got detention and my teacher said he did it, because he needed to prepare me for the difficulties of middle school. Well I'll have you know that I never got a detention for forgetting homework in middle school, so he was wrong!

23. When was your first kiss?
8th grade and I didn't like it.

24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance?
This is a very good question and I am not sure of the answer.

February

It's a new month already! Where did the time go? This year is already beginning to fly past me. In some respects I desperately want this year to hurry up and be done, but at the same time I want it to go slow.

No baby this month and my reaction to the news is the worst it's ever been. I can't thank my friends and husband enough for helping me cope with this disappointment. I think it's time to move on to plan B....whatever that may be. (When I figure out what it is, I'll let you know.)

Tomorrow I am going to make my Valentine's Day cards. I used to hate V-day for years, basically because I was single so often for it that I got bitter. Even when Avery and I were first together, I didn't like it, because our first Valentine's Day wasn't spent together (he was out to sea and I was in Illinois) and there were all sorts of mishaps related to him sending me flowers. Thus our first Valentine's Day as a married couple was met with skepticism. It wasn't perfect by any means, but Avery really worked hard for me to like it (despite forgetting to get me flowers...now that's a story!) This year I am looking at it with a new pair of eyes and seeing it not as the silly Hallmark holiday, but as also a day to show appreciation for the ones you love. So to all of you that I love: Happy early Valentine's Day (look for your card in the mail soon.) :-)