Monday, July 28, 2014

Embryo Adoption

I wrote this last fall and never posted it. I was scared to share it. I am sharing it now as it's been almost a year. I am better with our decision and happy we donated. I will always wonder about those embryos though. I hope they make someone's dream come true.

It's that time. I think I vaguely mentioned doing this a few months ago. After our IVF cycle with Matthew, we had 2 embryos left to freeze. They are perfect grade embryos. Our plan had been to use them around the time Little Dude was 2. God had other plans though.  At our RE's office, you pay a yearly fee to keep embryos frozen. This year (2013) when the bill came we had a decision to we keep them just in case or do we leave the possibility of a third child up to God? Let me say, this was a very hard decision. They aren't just frozen embryos to us. They are living beings. Ultimately after a lot of prayers on my end, we've decided to donate our embryos. It will be nearly anonymous. The process requires a lot of paperwork detailing medical history and they ask for pictures (because people want to have kids with similar features to their own obviously.)

I won't lie and say it's a perfect end. I'm grieving. I know we are so lucky that we were able to have our son with one successful IVF cycle and then have our daughter so easily, thus having to make this decision, but still it feels a little like how I'd imagine someone giving a baby up for adoption would feel. It's a loss. I talked extensively with our IVF coordinator & one of the doctor's in our RE's team. It's not just the loss of the babies, but also a loss that with the donation of the embryos we are effectively done with our RE's office. When you deal with infertility, you have to trust your team of doctor's so much. The connection I felt with our RE and his staff was a strong one. They were there during a very stressful & painful time in my life. I will always be so grateful.

I know we are doing the right thing though. There are many other couples out there dealing with infertility who deserve the chance at parenthood. If this can help them, then I have to do it. I feel like it's my way of giving back to the infertility community.

So please pray for us and for the people who will use our embryos.

Thursday, July 24, 2014


Finding Myself Young

In an effort to Blog more, I am doing this blog prompt today.  This week's topic guessed it: family.

Family is a broad term. Especially for me. Family to me isn't just my 2 children & my husband or my parents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Family are the people in my life who I lean on, support, grow with, and in general love.  I call the friends we've met in our military life part of that family network. The Navy family is huge and never far away.  I also call the close friends we have in our church community family. Family is a big word & a big deal.
So obviously I couldn't just post one big picture that encompasses my thoughts on family.  

Check back next week, where I might have a picture.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I'm back to blogging....maybe....I hope

I don't even know where to start, except to say that blogging felt unnatural and even a little boring for awhile there. I read other blogs and they all just sound amazing and the people who write them sound amazing. I felt like I didn't know what my blogging voice was. I still am wondering what it is exactly. I know I've pondered this before. So who the heck knows....I am just going to ramble today and see what happens.

SOOO what's been going on since April??? Well....
Julia turned 1 and had a great birthday party. Matthew turned 2.5 and is such a big boy sometimes I want to cry. I have stayed as busy as possible. Oh and I had minor nasal surgery. Not a nose job for all your judgmental divas! The nasal turbinates needed some fixing. It went well, I survived and life continued. Then we went to Illinois, road tripped to Dallas for a wedding, and then spent more time in Illinois.  Oh and my best friend up here in the PACNORWEST pcs'd and I ugly cried. A LOT! Oh a plus favorite babysitter for my kids came back from National Guard boot camp, thank god! Since babysitters are hard to come by; I am very picky!

It seems like busy is just my middle name. I volunteer (which is really means I work unpaid for a Navy command), I am involved with Navy Wives Club of America, volunteer with MOPS and a million other things related to all those. I was asked recently how I do it all and honestly, I don't know. I just put stuff in my planner and go to town. With a little help from my friend caffeine.
On a good week I dutifully plan my grocery list based on recipes I find on pinterest, type my grocery list using the Safeway site and load my club card to go shopping. On a lazy week or a week where I feel tired and grumpy, I run to the commissary & pray I get enough stuff to make it through the week. <---currently having="" nbsp="" of="" one="" p="" those="" weeks.="">
I was just telling my neighbor what a nice quiet, not busy week I was having and then today I got a call to deal with a situation I can't discuss. Yeah, totally jinxed myself there.

That's it. Maybe I can get on the blogger bandwagon again. All the cool Moms seem to blog. Am I cool? ;)