Monday, February 28, 2011

Finishing up the blog challenge

Kind of tired of this blog challenge, especially when I have other ideas of what to write, so I am just going to go ahead & finish it up.

Day 28: Post a picture of something you're afraid of- Centipedes. They are huge here in Hawaii.

Day 29: A picture that can always make you smile-
Avery & I at Submarine Ball 2009. Love this picture of us.

Day 30: Post a picture of someone you miss-
Scamper, my childhood pup. He went over the rainbow bridge last May and there's not a day that goes by that I don't wish we'd had more time together.

Day 31: Post a picture of yourself-
It's me!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Day 27 Blog Challenge

Day 27 of the blog challenge is to post a picture of yourself & a family member. This picture is from June 2009. It is my cousin Ethan & me. At the time he wore his very curly hair long, so we were comparing hair lengths. Haha!

In infertility news...AF came to finally start my break cycle for March. All to gear my body up for IVF in April. I also bought a package deal on acupuncture so I can have that done before & after the IVF. I've read that acupuncture can help, so I figured I'd try it.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

My Husband Avery

Day 26 of the blog challenge is post a picture of something that means a lot to you. I have chosen someone and that is my husband, Avery.
Avery is my rock. I cannot imagine my life without him in it. I love him more then I ever thought I could love someone. He gets me through it all. He is so strong. I am very thankful that God blessed me with marriage to him.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Day 25- Blog Challenge

Day 25: Post a picture of your day-

This wasn't taken today, but I did lay by the pool today and it was amazing!

In other news: I am feeling good today. I was reading more info on my infertility doctor- get this, he's got an over 50% success rate with IVF. Can you say d*mn! That's almost unheard of. I am even more thankful we have him as a doctor!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Blog Challenge-Day 24

Day 24: A picture of something you wish you could change:

I wish I could change the number of people in our family.

But I have faith that modern science will change that number for me very soon.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Working up the positivity again

Yesterday was an emotional other way to say it. I normally am as positive as possible, but yesterday I just lost it. I cried and moaned out the pain of another failed cycle. My husband held me and listened to me ramble on about whatever came to my mind.

Today is another new day. I am still not 100% back to the positive side, but I feel ready to fight again. We will take March off as my doctor suggested and do IVF in April.

A baby will be born to us this year. This is our year. The year I finish my college degree and the year we become parents. All thanks to fierce determination & a lot of money....hehe!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Infertility is cruel.

Sometimes I hate that I know my body so well that I can tell when AF is on her way. I have been hormonal for 2 days now & as much as I've tried to fight it, I know what that means. The IUI didn't work as suspected. I am angry with the world yet again. IVF here we come.

Feel like burying my head under the covers and not coming out for a. long. a$$. time!

Infertility is cruel.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

IVF and blog challenge

Yep, you read it right......IVF is very likely going to happen this year. We will be doing minimal stimulation IVF, which is different from regular IVF in that they take fewer eggs (therefore making less embryos) and it costs a heck of a lot less. Supposedly it's a lot less stress on your body.
I can tell you, this was not the plan we were expecting, but due to issues with the doesn't look like anymore IUIs would be effective. [If by some miracle we did get pregnant from this month's IUI at least we'll know what to do in the future.]

Now on to the blog challenge, which I am sorely behind in:

Day 20: Post a picture of somewhere you'd love to travel-
Australia. The place looks amazing!

Skipping day 21, because no picture could do it justice. My feelings are that intense.

Day 22: Post a picture of something you wish you were better at:

Working out. I just don't like to do it.

Day 23: Post a picture of your favorite book-

The Giver by Lois Lowry. I absolutely love this book!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Blog Challenge- Days 18 & 19

Day 18: Post a picture of your biggest insecurity:

Mine is never finding a career that I am truly happy in and therefore not succeeding in life. I want to work at a place where I feel happy to go there everyday or nearly everyday. I want to make money to pay off my student loans and live comfortably. I just have an insecurity that I won't make it.

Day 19: A picture and a letter:

Dearest Self,

The past 2 years have been very hard. You've struggled with the unfairness of life and the confusion of things not working out the way you'd hope. Yet your faith in God & positive outlook has kept you going. You are a strong woman. Nothing can bring you down if you let it. Keep confident! You will succeed and get what you want in life.
Be aggressive with the infertility, you control your an advocate for you. Sometimes getting good health care means having to be selfish. That said, do not treat others unkindly. They didn't do this to you. Stay away from the negative and surround yourself with positive.
And keep praying....those daily minute meditations that come in the email: they are a good thing.


News: Less then a week left on the 2ww. It's been very difficult this cycle. The uncertainty just kills me! (They need a test that gives you results way sooner.) If things don't work out in the next 2 cycles, I will definitely be taking a break for May, June & July. I am going home to Illinois and going to rest up my mind & body. Hopefully though none of that will be necessary if the IUI worked last week. *Crossing fingers & praying a lot*

Our Valentine's Day was a short one....Avery didn't get home from the boat until after 8pm. We had dinner and the flowers he ordered for me didn't show up until after 9pm. Then we crashed a little after 10pm. Oh least I got to see him!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Blog Challenge Day 17

Post a picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently:

Clearly, infertility.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Blog Challenge Days 15 & 16

Day 15: Post a picture of something you want to do before you die:

Visit The Vatican.

Day 16: A Picture of Someone Who Inspires you:

The writer of the blog, Newlyweds Next Door

I am not sure what it is, but reading her blog truly inspires me to keep working hard so I can achieve the things I want to achieve in life.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Blog Challenge & Other Stuff

Skipping Day 13 of the challenge; it's post a picture of your favorite band or artist and I can't narrow it done even remotely. I like an array of music.

Day 14: A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without:

Obviously, it's my Mother. I've said it before, but she's amazing and my bestest friend. I really can't imagine my life without her.

Other stuff: Yeah, did the IUI on Wednesday. Sperm did not thaw well for some unknown reason. Very poor chance it worked. Back next week to discuss next steps. Tired of hearing about people getting pregnant. Tired of fighting freakin' Tricare Prime to get referrals taken care of, seriously the healthcare may be "free", but it is not even remotely easy to deal with. I mean, they have good customer service, but the system is seriously flawed.

I was super confident & feeling good yesterday. Today I've lost that confidence. I am tired of people telling me that maybe it's just not the right time. That's not supportive or helpful. Be kind, not ludicrous. My college adviser told me to take a 2 week break. She said I needed it, so I am taking it.

My friend Christie is moving in when Avery deploys. I just can't sit here alone for 6 months and I don't want to go home to IL for the whole deployment. I feel sort of like I am failing as a Navy wife having someone come to stay, but with all the stress we've been through, I just don't want to put myself in the position of being alone so much. I can see myself withdrawing from life if I don't have her here.

Well, it's late here and I should probably think about bed time. G'Night all.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


IUI is tomorrow and I am nervous/excited/scared/happy all at the same time. My doctor thinks our chances are pretty good. Yay!

Photo challenge- day 12: Post a picture of something you love:

Scrapbooking! I love it!

Day 11 Photo Challenge

Day 11- Post a picture of something you hate.

I really, really don't like asparagus. I think it tastes awful.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Blog Challenge- Day 10

A picture of the person you do the craziest things with. This is my favorite Navy wife and bff, Stacie. We have the craziest adventures sometimes. From driving around random girlfriends to dealing with nutty people to doctor's appointments & police stations....we do it all. (Btw, police stations were not because we were in trouble.)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Blog Challenge- Days 8 & 9

Day 8- Post a picture that makes you laugh.
This is my bff & MOH, Angie, and I at the end of my wedding reception. There was a piano in the corner and we couldn't help but act a little silly.

Day 9: Post a picture of someone who has gotten you through the most.
Mine is a picture of God. I know it may seem cliche' but my faith in God has really kept me going in the tough times and I don't think I would be as strong as I am today, if it weren't for God.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Crossed Fingers!

Over halfway through taking Femara and Avery banked his part of the process today. We are good to go for IUI this month, if all goes well at the next appointment. I feel a little anxious, but mainly calm. Things are all working out and the costs haven't been as high as we expected. [Granted we were quoted higher just in case.]
I truly believe God has a plan and I hope this is it. I can also say that the power of prayer is really evident in our journey....we weren't sure the command was going to let Avery go to today's appointment and since he can't go next week, this was our last chance. In the end, we just prayed and it worked out. Seriously, so thankful to the lord above and all the people praying for us.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Blog Challenge-Day 7

My most treasured item:

A necklace that Avery got me in Singapore. I wear it all the time.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Blog Challenge- Day 6

Day 6- Post a picture of someone you'd like to trade places with for a day.

Mine is the Prima Ballerina, Ashley Bouder, from New York City Ballet. She's one of my favorite principal dancers and I would love to know what being a professional ballet dancer feels like.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Blog Challenge- Day 5

Day 5: A picture of your favorite memory.

This is Avery & I on the Big Island in December 2007. It was less then a month before we would become engaged and I was really happy to be with him (We'd been apart for a 6 month deployment, shortly before we went on this trip.) It was our first trip together as a couple and if I wasn't already head over heels for him, this trip sealed the deal. We happened to arrive at the black sand beach while there were sea turtles resting on the beach. I'd never seen anything like that before. Every time I see this picture, I remember how amazing it was to fall in love with him and how much more I love him now.