Most people who know me would consider me pretty resilient when it comes to dealing with the countless underways and then the deployments. And for the most part I would agree with that. I always miss him, but I don't feel awful or cry everyday. I just deal with it. It's my life and a life I accepted because I believe in the defense of our country & others, but mostly...I accepted it because I love him more then anything in the world. (Plus someone has to do it.)
I rarely talk about the heart ache of him not being here (or at least I think I rarely talk about it). It's just a part of our lives and we just do it. There's no secret to how we get through it. I send emails as I come up with enough worth telling him. He sends emails when he isn't super busy working. When he pulls into a port, he calls me...always calls me first. It has been that way since we were dating.
We have an amazing group of family & friends (both civilian & military) who support us and the work that Avery does without question. I am so thankful for all of them.
I mention this today, because I had what I call a "moment." A moment where I miss him & feel his absence so strongly that I have to cry just to release the pain. These are pretty rare, but when they happen I just have to let them out. I don't think holding in that pain is healthy.
In conclusion: we have no secret...we just do it. We/I cry when needed and then keep on going.