Last Bit of Time Before He Leaves

Avery, my favorite guy in the world (& husband) is home again. They passed inspection and are ready to go on deployment. This is our last bit of time together before he leaves. I wish I could hold onto him forever sometimes. The last few days before deployment's are always the hardest for me, because you know how little time you have left and just want to savor it all.

We went to the commissary together today; something that I realized we hadn't done since very early in our marriage. It was sort of fun to see him realize just how much money I save us with coupons. He knew I used coupons, but I don't think he realized just how much money I can save in one trip.

Our infertility doctor gave us the plan and now we're just waiting on my body. Everything else is set to go! Yay! I can't wait for the day that I get to tell him he's a Daddy.

Well...better finish this up. Avery will be home from work soon to do more things on my...I mean his to-do list.

Getting Nervous

It's day 25 and I know that AF is on her way (which is totally positive this time around....the only time I am happy about her) and I am waiting for the doctor to call back & finalize the plans for April's IVF cycle. I am so nervous. I go from being sad & tearful to happy & on cloud 9 all day long (thanks hormones, I love you too....NOT!).

I am still dealing with the shoulder & neck pain from an injury last week. I had stopped taking the pain meds, because I was getting nothing accomplished. Unfortunately I think that may have been a mistake. Hopefully that won't require a trip back to the doctor, due to possible re-injury. Yes, I'm an idiot sometimes, in case that wasn't already established.

I am so thankful to everyone who has been so wonderful to me the past month or so. I cannot thank you all enough. And my husband- he gets a gold star for how great he's been (even from the dark depths of the ocean. Haha!)

Errands to run! Toodles my friends.

How we do it

Most people who know me would consider me pretty resilient when it comes to dealing with the countless underways and then the deployments. And for the most part I would agree with that. I always miss him, but I don't feel awful or cry everyday. I just deal with it. It's my life and a life I accepted because I believe in the defense of our country & others, but mostly...I accepted it because I love him more then anything in the world. (Plus someone has to do it.)

I rarely talk about the heart ache of him not being here (or at least I think I rarely talk about it). It's just a part of our lives and we just do it. There's no secret to how we get through it. I send emails as I come up with enough worth telling him. He sends emails when he isn't super busy working. When he pulls into a port, he calls me...always calls me first. It has been that way since we were dating.

We have an amazing group of family & friends (both civilian & military) who support us and the work that Avery does without question. I am so thankful for all of them.

I mention this today, because I had what I call a "moment." A moment where I miss him & feel his absence so strongly that I have to cry just to release the pain. These are pretty rare, but when they happen I just have to let them out. I don't think holding in that pain is healthy.

In conclusion: we have no secret...we just do it. We/I cry when needed and then keep on going.

Not much to say

Just helping a friend see my blog networked.

This is for you, Jen. :-)

In case you were worried....

We are fine and had no damage from the tsunami. The whole thing seemed kind of ridiculous after it was all over. The only thing I can say is that I got good practice on how to deal with a possible tsunami. Though I think the cats & dogs would've outlived us all had a major wave actually hit. I had more of their stuff prepared then our stuff. Oh well...interesting experience. It's taken me 2 days to recover from the night of no sleep. I really have lost my night owl ways.

Christie has moved in and her dog Max is here. It's been good to have someone here. The impending IVF has me all kinds of anxious.

I spoke with the embryologist this past week and am getting together the paperwork so that everything we have banked at the other hospital can be moved to our doctor's new office & lab. Next on the IVF to-do list is calling the office to make sure the injectable medications are ordered & ready for the cycle to begin in a few weeks. I should probably call the credit card company too, just to make sure they aren't shocked by the enormous amount we're about to put on it.

I am pumped up and ready or at least faking it well. :-)

Scared

I am scared to make the first call to start setting up our IVF for next month.

IVF is scary.

I wish Avery were here to do this one with me.

Thank goodness for friends who are here to support me.

I am...

I am tired. Really tired.

I am sick of people whining about deployment. Yeah, it sucks...get over it. Every military spouse in the world has to deal with deployment, it's just a part of our lives.

I am worried about friends. I don't like to see others in pain.

I am annoyed that the dog is misbehaving. I know he misses Avery though.

I am missing Avery too.

Oh and did I mention....I am tired.

The ABC's of Me

A – Age: 25

B – Bed size: Queen

C – Chore you hate: Cleaning floors

D – Dog’s name: Stanley

E – Essential start your day item: Boost/Ensure

F – Favorite color: Pink and blue

G – Gold or Silver: Silver

H – Height: 5’ 5”

I – Instruments you play: I tinker on the piano & played clarinet in middle school.

J – Job title: Domestic engineer

K – Kid(s): None yet.

L – Living arrangements: Married & live with spouse when he's in port.

M – Mom’s name: Susan

N – Nicknames: Lizzie, Lizaroo, Lizard, Baby, Angel

O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Too many to count.

P – Pet Peeve: People who are always negative

Q – Quote from a movie: "Love won't obey your expectations, it's mysteries are pure & absolute." -Bridges of Madison County

R – Right or left handed: Right

S – Siblings: None

T – Time you wake up: 8:30am

U- Underwear: Yes, I wear it.

V – Vegetable you dislike: Asparagas

W – Ways/Reasons you run late: Take too long to get ready or dog is misbehaving.

X – X-rays you’ve had: Too many to count.

Y – Yummy food you make: Beef Stew

Z – Zoo favorite: Meerkats

What do you do...

Edit: I posted this earlier, then worried I would make someone's bad day worse, so I took it down. However posting it again, since she saw it & wasn't upset.

What do you do...

When a fellow infertility friend makes the decision to stop treatment?

Me? I cried for the sadness & heartache of that decision.

And out of fear that someday we'll be faced with the same decision.

H- I love you and I am thinking of you today. I hope you find peace & comfort soon.

I want this kitchen!

Someday when we say farewell to the Navy (aka retire) I want to build a house & have a beautiful kitchen like this one.