And...I'm done!

I finished my last 2 comments on my classmates discussion questions for school today.  Yesterday (after one final edit), I turned in my final paper of undergraduate.  I had to convince myself to log out of the online classroom. It just felt strange to be done with it. Now I have 6 months to find a job, before my student loan companies start calling.  Actually so far they've emailed me to tell me how excited they are for me. Anyone else find the humor in that? Sometimes I feel annoyed with the repayment process, but honestly those loan companies made it possible for me to get my education. So as long as we all play nice, there should be no issues. (I'll ignore the stalled economy issue...)

Matthew had his 6 month well baby check up today.  He is 15 pounds, 9 ounces. He is now in the 16th percentile for weight. He is also 27 inches long!! Holy height. Definitely doesn't get that from me (I'm 5'5.5"). I am pleased though. He's making progress.  He has eczema so we got a bunch of creams for that. He may outgrow it so we'll just watch it. I am not worried. Otherwise he is a happy,  healthy dude. He got his vaccines and took them like a champ. 

This past weekend, the town we live in has something called Whaling Days Festival.  We decided to go check it out on Saturday.  It seemed like a neat thing.  There were lots of food choices and rides. I think next year may be a bit more fun for us. This year Little Dude is obviously too small/young for rides so we just ate food and walked around. No pictures from it, so I won't be doing a weekend outtakes.

The Olympics have started, if you didn't already know, and we have been watching!  Thank goodness for DVR, since so many events are on late or in the early morning. 

I go back to the Allergist tomorrow and hopefully will get these allergies under control soon!

I'm Allergic to the United States...and other ramblings..

Okay, now before you groan and think to yourselves "oh no, a political post" I assure you, this is not one of those.  I save my political discussions for.... well no one, with the occasional blurp to Avery. (In fact, I bet very few of my friends actually have a clue about my political leanings...I like to keep people guessing.) No, this post is about actual allergies. 
I suffered from seasonal allergies for a number of years when I was growing up in the Midwest.  However most over the counter stuff took care of it.  Then in college, my doctors prescribed some medications to help me get through the fall and spring time allergy seasons.  Once I moved to Hawaii, my allergies got progressively worse.  To the point where I was taking medication full time everyday and they kept adding to my arsenal of medication while I was there.  When we moved to Washington, I had very high hopes that my allergies would improve here. Well unfortunately I was wrong. My allergies are so under-controlled here that they have added even more medication and are now sending me to see an Allergist. To be able to see her, I have to wean off all my allergy meds. By the time I see her this Thursday, I'll be on nothing and look a hot mess (we're talking red & puffy eyes, drippy nose etc.) My PCM thinks it's time for me to go to allergy shots. We'll see how Thursday goes....

Cars: We've been a one car family the entire time we've been married. It's been annoying at times, but otherwise fairly tolerable. Once we had Matthew we knew we'd want to get a second vehicle, we had just planned to wait until I was working again in the fall.  Well....that isn't going to happen. Our car is having issues again, so we've decided to get another car soon...very soon in fact.  As for our current car, we'll probably fix it once more, but I am done putting tons of work into it beyond that.

Solid Foods: Matthew turns 6 months next week Monday, can you believe it?? His first half year of life has flown past me quickly!! I decided to wait and introduce solid foods at 6 months and our pediatrician agreed with me especially as we've been dealing with his medical issues. Next weekend we are going to introduce solids though. I am pretty excited for this. We've been getting him used to the high chair, so he'll be ready. I plan to make most of his baby food, but did buy some pre-made stuff for when we're traveling in August.

School: I did all the work for third week of my last class yesterday, so today Matthew and I are having fun together. I cannot believe I only have 2 more weeks left. I am almost there. It's surreal after all this time.

Matthew is demanding fun...toodles friends!

Wisdom Teeth and other ramblings...

Just a few days ago, I was writing about my Little Dude turning 5 months. Today it occurred to me that I rarely write about random stuff the way I used to.  I guess that is what happens when you have a child and that's cool, but I miss my ramblings.  I am contemplating writing a blog post about infertility after having a baby and how it feels, but truth is I am scared of how it will come across.  In my mind it offends a lot of people, but maybe I am thinking about it too much.  Anyway...I digress...

I had my wisdom teeth out 2 weeks ago.  It was awful, the aftermath, not the surgery.  Everything went well with the removal. I had a mild asthma attack afterwards, but that was really nothing. The recovery sucked though.  My Aunt flew in the day prior to help take care of me and Matthew.  Looking back, I really should've let go of control and have rested more.  I think that's part of why I had complications in recovery. I couldn't tolerate the narcotic they gave me so I stopped taking it and just took Motrin & Tylenol. The pain was much worse then I ever expected.  My jaw throbbed, but I just kept dealing with it.  Finally after nearly vomiting on the side of the road on the way back from taking my aunt to airport on Tuesday, I decided I better go back and see the oral surgeon again. That office was fabulous, they tolerated even me having to bring Matthew with me.  Apparently, part of the blood clot on one side came out (this is apparently different from dry socket, but is treated the same.)  They packed the sockets and sent me on my way.  I went back Thursday, so a week after the surgery, and they removed the packing & put in some chemically junk.  Thankfully over the weekend I finally started feeling better.  Next time I have any kind of surgical procedure someone remind me to let go of control so I can rest.

School is almost done for me. This past weekend I wrote a big paper for my class and today I found out I got an A! Considering how bad of burn out I've had, this was great news.  I started my last class on Tuesday, so less than 5 weeks until I am done with my BA.  It's been a long time coming.  Clinton, IA (where my online school has an actual campus) I will see you this fall to collect my hard-earned diploma.

In other news....I am going home to the Midwest in August.  It's a reward of sorts for finishing college.  I was always home sick when we lived in Hawaii, but since arriving in Washington I miss home even more. It's like I am so close, yet still so far away.

May 2012 in Review

This month has been such a busy month filled with so much stuff!  I've been busy with school, so blogging hasn't really been the priority that I keep meaning it to be.  May was a busy month for us filled with firsts.
[As you all already know May started off with Matthew struggling to gain weight and fighting off the threat of hospitalization. Thank goodness we got past that.]

Our first ER visit: Then we made our first ER visit with Matthew.  Right before Mother's Day, Matthew came down with a high fever, so we took him into the Naval Hospital to get checked out. They took blood, urine and did a chest x-ray.  Because we delay vaccinations, they decided to give him a 24 hour antibiotic just in case and after only 4 hours we were home.  With the exception of them disagreeing with our vaccination plan, Naval Hospital Bremerton, was fabulous.  Everyone was so nice and the time passed by quickly.  The next day we saw Lt. D, Matthew's pediatrician, who tested him for the flu (a horrendous test that had Matthew screaming more then getting the blood & urine draw the night before.)  He did not have the flu and his fever was gone within a day.



My first Mother's Day with Matthew on the outside: My Mom flew in 2 days prior to Mother's Day and Matthew and I were there to greet her. My Aunt & Uncle drove up from Portland too. It was a great weekend.  The weather was lovely and Matthew was as sweet as can be!

Holding a sign to Welcome Nana!

Matthew and Mommy on Mother's Day 2012

 First (and only) Four Month Birthday for Matthew:  Matthew turned 4 months old in May.  He's a very active little dude.  He likes kicking his legs and continues to roll over, as he's done since 2 months of age. His play mat and vibrating chair are his 2 favorite places to be.  He continues to sleep from 9pm-6am.  His current favorite activity is "eating" his hands.  Just recently at his well baby appointment he was 13 lbs and 26 inches long (his weight is still low for what he started at, but he's gaining enough to appease them). The Corpsman said we have a basketball player on our hands. I think she may have been correct. His infant car seat only goes to 30 in. so we are investigating convertible car seats and hoping to find a good deal on one, since we're going to need it sooner then we expected.  He still wears size 1 diapers (we've been in those since 2 months) and is in 0-3 month clothes, with a few 3 month outfits mixed in. He can also still wear some NB sized clothes.

4 month picture

First (and only) Four Year Anniversary for us:  Avery and I celebrated 4 years of marriage at the end of May.  We went to The Melting Pot for fondue and left Matthew with a babysitter.  We had a great evening out alone.  Unfortunately I completely forgot to have any pictures of us taken. Oh well!

Thanks for reading along folks.  Matthew and Avery are getting shots today. I am the lucky one who does not need to get shots this time around. :-)

Finally an update on us

It took me awhile, but here I am to save the day (update you all!!)

Right after Thanksgiving, Avery was honorably discharged and then re-enlisted in the US Navy for another 3 years. (It seems so silly that they have to discharge them to re-enlist them, but that's how it works. I sort of laughed when they said congrats you left the Navy and still got paid.) Avery is very nonchalant about the whole thing, but I am filled with pride. In the grand scheme of things, people who serve in the military are a very small part of the population. I really appreciate the fact that my husband is one of those who volunteers to do the work needed to defend not only our nation's freedoms, but also the the freedoms of other nations.

We got our official on paper orders for shore duty. Soo...where are we going?? Despite asking to stay in Hawaii, the detailer gave us our 5th choice and that is Bangor Naval Base! We should be there shortly before Easter. I am slowly getting used to the idea of leaving Hawaii and finding things about Bangor to love.

In case I didn't make it official on here, we did name our son finally. His name is Matthew Orson. He was breech for quite a long time and due to his head smashing my stomach I gained no weight for over a month. This led to concern and had me at Kapiolani (the hospital where I will deliver) for another growth u/s just to check on him. Thankfully there was no need for concern, he was/is fine and at 34 weeks they estimated his weight at over 5 pounds. The perinatologist estimated he will be between 7 and 8 pounds at birth (praying this is true, I have a slight fear of having the biggest baby in the hospital...crazy fear I know.)

Tomorrow is my 37 week appointment. We are almost at the end and ready to meet our little boy. My body is very sore and in much pain, but Avery has been amazing at taking care of me. He's such a good husband. He always tells me that I am the best, but I am the "best" simply because he's my husband.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

What's New?

I haven't blogged in a few weeks again. Mainly because Avery was home and I was busy with school. Well....as it happens in the submarine world, Avery went back out to sea. Not to worry, it's a short one, he'll be back soon.

Our lives in brief:

1. Pregnancy is going well. Our son looks great. I am into the 3rd trimester and getting excited to meet my little guy. We have our maternity tour a week from today.

2. Hormonal overload is in full swing. I've never felt so out of balance as I have lately. I am depressed one minute and happy the next. All I want to see is Avery when he's not here, but when he is here he's driving me up the wall. I am lonely and depressed.....I am told this is prenatal depression, which feels ridiculous to have since I am so lucky to be pregnant after all the hardship we went through.

3. Avery has a re-enlistment date and it is very soon (I honestly can't remember the exact date). He'll soon be committing to serve his country for another 3 years.

4. Shore Duty: Yes, we know where we are most likely going. (No, I am still not posting on the blog where we're going.) We just don't have a clear date of when we're going there. He was told that we would leave in March, but given no date.

The dog is on the bed....where he's not supposed to be. Better go deal with that.....ta ta my friends.....

Not much going on....

I've been feeling so poorly lately, that I haven't had much desire to see people. I hate to be the annoying, whiny pregnant lady. So if I've seemed to ignore you, please don't take it personally...give me a few more weeks and hopefully I'll be back in the game of life.

I am very burnt out with school, but somehow was convinced by my adviser to double up classes and be finished by December. I am just going to schedule homework time into my day. If it's on my calendar the likelihood of it getting done is much greater.

Avery sent me 2 dozen red roses as a belated anniversary gift. They were such an unexpected surprise. Things like that make deployment just a tad bit easier.

Not much else is going down. Toodles!

Little Life Update

Not much is going on here. I was in Illinois visiting family for a month and now I am home trying to get back into my groove.

I had a 6 week u/s and there is just one baby. Part of me morns the loss of that embryo and yet another part sighs with relief at just having one. I have a lot of morning sickness. I cry a lot when I am alone....I just can't help it.

I miss Avery desperately. This deployment feels very long at times. They did finally port and I have spoken to him, which is nice, but it also makes it worse I fear to say. It's sometimes easier to not know where they are and to not be wondering when the next phone call will come in.

I applied for a new passport (mine was lost somewhere in the many moves I made before I got married), on the off chance that I will go meet the boat somewhere. I honestly do not think I will, because it is so very expensive, but I want to have the chance.

We are up in the air about when he will be able to re-enlist (due to the government being broke). Until that gets figured out, we have no idea where we'll be going to shore duty. If things don't work out with that, then we still have the option of him staying on the boat for another year, which would mean a 3rd deployment with this boat. I hate that option, but will go with it if we have to.

As for me, I am just doing enough work to get my degree done as quickly as possible. I don't care about my GPA anymore. It's time to just pass school and get out. I am beyond burnt out. That nursing degree that I had intended to finish after getting this degree may have to wait awhile longer or never happen. I am more & more okay with not finishing it.

Hope all are well.

I am...

I am tired. Really tired.

I am sick of people whining about deployment. Yeah, it sucks...get over it. Every military spouse in the world has to deal with deployment, it's just a part of our lives.

I am worried about friends. I don't like to see others in pain.

I am annoyed that the dog is misbehaving. I know he misses Avery though.

I am missing Avery too.

Oh and did I mention....I am tired.

Exhausted and Bummed

Trying very hard not to be negative right now, despite how freakin' difficult it is currently. I have a list of grievances with the world right now.
1. I am trying to get over a stupid UTI, which I only got because we had to TTC with the trigger shot this month.
2. I stayed out way too late with a gal pal and can't seem to get motivated today. Gosh, I must be getting old or just losing my night owl ways.
3. I can tell the trigger shot didn't work, so now it's just a matter of waiting for AF to show the f*ck up, so we can get another cycle started.

AHHHH! I wish I could just skip homework for today (well I can, but that's not the best option academically.)

5 Things Friday

Okay, because I've got nothing else better to do right now, you get to learn 5 things about me on a Friday.

1. My husband and I give each other Christmas lists every year, just to make the shopping for each other easier. Some people have told me they think this ruins the surprise, I, however, think it removes the possibility of me ever getting a frying pan or folding chairs or something of that sort.

2. The clothes in my closet are color coded & sorted by sleeve length and I am ridiculously proud of this fact.

3. Sometimes when I get really excited for people, I get tears in my eyes.

4. I am always reading something, yet I read the book for my book club usually only a few days before we are due to meet up again.

5. I really want to redo our office/guest room. It bugs me, yet I have continuously failed to get inspiration on what to do with it.

Random things about me that I knew you all wanted to know...

1. I adore cats and dogs and no, I don't have a favorite of the two. If it's cute, cuddly and not a rodent I will give it the time of day.

2. I seriously believe our first child will be a boy, even though I would prefer a girl first.

3. I really like buying make-up even though I don't wear it every day.

4. I need to be a military wife, because I need the breaks from my spouse. I am very independent and feel suffocated if he's not working.

5. I love my husband way more then I ever express.

6. Bookstores soothe me when I am stressed.

7. Pledging my sorority made me so tense I smoked cigarettes and chewed ice like a mad woman.

8. Coincidentally I am no longer interested in either action.

9. I have recently re-discovered my love for the color pink.

10. I never gained the freshmen 15 in college.

11. Voicemail annoys me....I hate checking it and wish people wouldn't leave me messages unless it's absolutely important.

12. I really want a GPS for the car, but I am not sure which is the best one for the best price etc. so I keep not buying one.

13. I wish I could've given my Grandparents a Great-Grandchild before they passed away.

14. Since my Oma died, I fear my Mom's death a lot more.

15. My Mom is my bestfriend.

16. I know I am blessed to have the healthcare that I do and I am very grateful for it.

17. YouTube = great idea and a minor addiction for me.

18. One of my favorite sodas is called Ski and is made in Southern Illinois.

19. I love to roam Costco and look at everything they offer for sale.

20. I really love a good pair of jeans. So much so that when I find a pair I like I buy them, even though I have plenty of other pairs at home.

21. Black dresses are a new obsession for me. I love 'em!

22. I didn't like leggings until my job forced me to try our brand on and now I adore them. Though it should be noted that the only leggings I like are from our company. (Seriously, the ones we sell are the best I have found, in terms of comfort & fit.)

23. Pretzels & chocolate are a great combo....I will try almost anything with such a combination.

24. I play farmville on facebook.

25. Rainy days are some of my favorite kind of days.

26. The only person I trust to cut/color my hair lives near my Mom's house in Southern Illinois. I have yet to find someone in Hawaii that I trust as much as her.

27. My favorite two professors in college didn't even teach in my degree field.

28. I have an email pen pal that lives in Canada.

29. I was raised Lutheran, but became a Catholic in high school. It was the best decision I have made for my faith.

30. I become more conservative the older I get.

31. I could be a spokesperson for Pampered Chef....I love their products that much.

32. I do not want to sell Pampered Chef despite my love for it.

33. My kitchen is done in red.

34. I really want a Pink Circuit Expression, but I am unwilling to pay $400 for it.

35. Student loans are the biggest pain in the booty for me.

36. Valparaiso University sends me Alumni newsletters even though I only went there for 1 year.

37. Veet is my friend when I am too lazy to actually shave my legs.

38. People who are always debbie downers or negative nancys drive me bonkers.

39. I wish my Mom's house were my house (without the mortgage payment.)

40. Though I have battled eating disorders for many years, I don't count calories.

41. Scrapbooking is my favorite expensive hobby.

42. Verizon has been my cell phone provider for almost 10 years.

43. The only new years resolution I can honestly say I've kept, was what I resolved this year and that was to chose to be happy. So glad I kept that one.

44. It's taken me 3 days to complete this list so far. :-)

45. I can't sew, despite the fact that both my Grandma's sew/sewed and my Mom sews.

46. I had to suck up to the Home Economics teacher in 7th & 8th grade to pass sewing with an A.

47. My Mom helped me pass sewing class in middle school, even though after thinking about it that was probably cheating....but oh well.

48. I am vain about my appearance and I admit it.

49. I am a master at giving cats medication.

50. Wish I could see my Scamper dog one last time. I miss him.

Ok....50 is a good number for now. Have a good day friends...romans...countrymen!

Dragging my feet and other things....

So good thing I never mentioned the name of my work place on this blog. At a monthly team work meeting, we were told that we better not bad mouth work anywhere on the internet. Opps! So if you happen to know where I work, just don't mention it here. Thanks peeps! [The story behind this is some gal in another place located who knows where, bad mouthed work on twitter or facebook and some big person in the company saw it and freaked the F out, because they feel it's bad for business...which I guess it possibly could be.]

I am dragging my feet on making my actually has time off right now spouse and I an appointment with the Ob/gyn. I am really not sure why I am dragging my feet, considering how badly we both want a child and the road to getting preggo at this point entails going and having a meeting with the doctor. I guess part of me feels like it's hopeless.
My spouse is on leave for a week or so, but then it's back to a busy work schedule and then out to sea again for a million trips in and out. Then he's home for Xmas and then early spring of next year, it's the big 6 month Westpac deployment. I told the spouse that maybe we should just stop all this doctor crap and just wait until shore duty. Surprisingly, he disagreed with me. Seriously people I was shocked...my husband who took forever to do what he needed to do, actually thinks we should proceed? I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. So it's time for me to pick my feet up and actually proceed....if he's game, then I am rolling with it.

On a side note: a friend of mine who struggled with infertility for a few years is pregnant with twins. IUI worked for her and that gives me hope. She is definitely deserving of this miracle.

On another topic altogether: my cousin's wedding is quickly approaching. When I booked the plane tickets back in April it felt very far away, but here it is July and I am flying to attend her wedding in early August. I still haven't gotten a dress to wear. I want to look good, as some of my relatives haven't seen me over 4 years, so I need to impress....just kidding, but really I think highly of their opinions. Family opinions matter.

Well better sign off for now. My husband is making dinner and I should really be supervising this endeavor.

Blogging Challenges aren't for me....

It's apparent that blogging challenges are not for me. Or at least ones that do not have defined rules. If I ever do a blogging challenge I will have to do one that has been set up by someone else and not one I make up.

Sooooo....to update you all on my life since the last post:

1. I got a job working in high end retail. High end only makes me like it a little more, because at least it requires me to dress nicely for work. For some reason I really like jobs where I have a uniform or dress clothes of some type. (Oh and the name of said work place will be kept anonymous just in case I decide to b*tch about work.)

2. I adopted an adorable little dog, named Stanley. My husband is so not excited about him and I am fairly certain is finding every reason to hate him. BUT I am determined and this dog stays.
He makes me feel a tiny bit less depressed about the infertility problem.









3. We have a definite reason for our infertility (finally) and we also have more questions. My irritation/frustration/anger/upset about the whole thing has finally reached the point where I feel I should apologize to all those suffering from infertility too, because I really didn't understand it fully until recently. I can see why marriages fail due to this issue. It's maddening. I am there and it is maddening.

4. I am to be an Auntie. My best friend and soul sister, Angie, is pregnant. And while I so wish it was me and am jealous as hell...I am happy for her. She's going to be the cool & awesome Mom on the block.

5. My spouse will be home soon. I rocked this Eastpac....sort of...most of the time...kind of....yeah....

Take care all......hopefully I will do better with blogging this month.

Just a few thoughts....

Yesterday morning as I was driving my husband to work, we got stuck momentarily because of a fender bender and while we were sitting there stopped I noticed a truck in the other lane that had a decal on the back that was a hand with the middle finger up. Now maybe it was the time of day (I am not a person who is very friendly before 8am), but that struck me as being so disrespectful. Disrespectful to the people who have to see it and I think a self-disrespect for the person driving the vehicle. It seems a shame to me that our culture/society seems to think vulgar symbols are cool or fun.
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Last evening I was re-elected secretary of our FRG (Family Readiness Group), which means I have signed myself up for yet another year of service to my husband's command and our boat family. Fast attack submarine's have such small crews compared to surface ships, that we really are like a family. Whether we like it or not, if you don't keep your nose clean the whole boat knows. Pillow talk at my house sometimes consists of my spouse and I telling each other what happened on "da boat." At times it is frustrating, but for the most part it is comforting and honestly I love the dynamics of it.
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Couponing! I love it!!!!! I've always been a fan of coupons and used them, but sometime last year I really got heavily into couponing and now many of my friends are all into couponing too. It's great fun and I love finding a spectacular deal. For example, I saved nearly $30 at Target yesterday with all my coupons. :-)
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Alright, enough for today. I have got things to do. Peace out friends. I love you!

Settled back in at home

Yes, that's me! I got in on Tuesday afternoon and have spent the past 2 days getting my house back the way I like it. That's not to say that my spouse is a slob, because he is far from it, but there are still things that we do differently around the house. I am glad to be back.

My Mom is supposed to fly in, in May. This will be a great time for her to come and I am so happy she's coming. I really appreciate her commitment to flying to see me fairly frequently. I am really lucky, I realize, that my Mom is able to come so often.

I have made the decision to not discuss the fertility issues as much anymore. I realized while I was home that I was making myself so much more depressed about not conceiving by focusing on it. Yes, it pains me to be seemingly unable to get pregnant, but it's not the end of the world. There are plenty of options for us if needed. But for now infertility does not have to be my life focus. I am making the resolve, sort of like I did with resolving to be happy earlier this year. That resolve is going well, so I figure I can succeed at another resolve too.

I am happy and I love my friends. [Just had to throw that in there.]

Back to the ordinary after visitors

The title says it all. We had a visitor with us last week. It was one of my former college roommates. She'd never been here so despite a sinus infection & a busy life I managed to play tour guide for her. We've never had anyone say at our house before that wasn't related to us, so I definitely learned a few things about having guests. Not that she was a bad guest, but when your name is Liz and you are a busy Navy wife you realize how hard it is to slow your life down to be a proper tour guide. Thus I think all future guests will need to invest in renting a car when staying with us. Now if they chose to stay in Waikiki a rental car may not be necessary. Anyway....lessons learned and a fun time was had. I definitely was forced to brush up on my Hawaiian history and actually am reading a book about Hawaiian history, since my interest in the history of where I live has been renewed. Anyway, she left on Monday and that meant it was time for me to accomplish all that didn't get accomplished last week. Here it is Friday and I finally feel like I am nearly all caught up. This weekend I am looking forward to doing a bit of homework, some laundry, going on a job interview and then just taking it easy.

Fertility update:
Have to wait until next week to have more tests done. However if I get a positive pregnancy test that will negate all such tests, so I am very much hoping for a positive test. Continued prayers on that front are appreciated.

School:
I changed my major from Healthcare Administration to Health & Human Services. I changed, because I really didn't like the management aspect and I know I do better when I am working directly with people. So I've switched and yes while it will push college graduation back yet again....I think this is for the best. When I get back to nursing in 2 years, this degree could help me work as a nurse in a public health setting and that is something I think I might really enjoy. Management just isn't for me.

Not much else to tell everyone. So I'll stop for now.

Determined

My title says it all. I am determined to blog more regularly about the happenings in my life. I even have a post-it note up in my office now that says "BLOG" to remind me.

Life updates: Avery and I got the the sad news this week that my cervical cancer has returned. It was not expected at all. We both figured I'd go in for the check-up, get the "everything is normal" speech and hopefully get a little help on the trying to have a kid front. That was not to be though, so alas we go through this holiday season hoping that God has a reason for this new development and that we might someday understand it.

As I write this Avery is at work, but thankfully no longer out to sea. I have never been so happy to have him come back in port, as I was this week. He is such a comfort and is definitely the calmer of the two of us.

We are going to St. Louis for the holidays to see my family. My Oma (Mom's Mother) is not doing well and we were told we really ought to come home and see her. So we cashed in a gazillion airline miles and are traveling out there. I am already dreading the long flights. I love flying, but the long flights from our island home to the mainland are just exhausting!

I took our kitties, Grace & Blackie, to the vet and they both got a clean bill of health. This is particularly good news since they were a few months over due on their shots. Opps! No worries though, they are fine now and all updated.

I best get off of this computer and begin my lazy Saturday.

Things I Miss...

I love my life, but today as I was looking through some pictures from a few years ago I got to thinking about the things I miss.

1. Walking around Washington Park in Springfield, IL and seeing the changes that occurred every season. Even in bad weather, the park was interesting and so beautiful. The summer I lived in Springfield, I went there often to read or just to watch people feed the ducks.

2. Rainy days. Yes, we get rain here in Hawaii, but it doesn't tend to last very long and there is never lightening & thunder. I miss the kind of rainy days that lasted all day and had you cuddled up with a blanket.

3. Seeing my Mom every month. There's a certain comfort in being surrounded by a person you share DNA with or who knows you better then you know yourself.

4. Driving in the car with Grace. If I went out of town, I almost always had Grace with me. I'd put her in her kitty carrier and away we'd go. It was fun to drive and "chat." Now it's been nearly a year since we rode in a car together and the next time we do, she will be on her way to the vet and be very angry with me.

I don't know how to elegantly end this post, so it's just going to stop I guess.

New Computer and Anniversary

I write this evening from my new laptop. I've now had this computer 24 hours and am still not sure what I think of it. My old laptop crashed completely on Monday evening, sending me into a panic and a slew of tears. Nothing was able to be salvaged off of my lovely little Dell. Thus, I got an HP last evening. As silly as it sounds, I miss my Dell. I really liked that laptop. It was the first laptop I ever bought and it was with me for 4 years. I did a lot with it and I honestly miss it. Now I am sure I will get used to this HP and grow to love it too, but this is not the love at first sight that I had with that Dell.

My first wedding anniversary is a week from tomorrow. In some respects I am just in awe of how this past year has been. My husband and I have grown so much together, but also I've grown so much. The person I've become since adding the title of wife is the best person I've ever known myself to be and I really believe I will only get better. I am proud of who I am now and I haven't felt proud of myself in this way for quite a long time.

Tonight I sit writing this blog and my husband is playing a video game that I bought him and I love this time with him. Yeah, we're not directly interacting, but we don't need to and I love that about us.