February

It's a new month already! Where did the time go? This year is already beginning to fly past me. In some respects I desperately want this year to hurry up and be done, but at the same time I want it to go slow.

No baby this month and my reaction to the news is the worst it's ever been. I can't thank my friends and husband enough for helping me cope with this disappointment. I think it's time to move on to plan B....whatever that may be. (When I figure out what it is, I'll let you know.)

Tomorrow I am going to make my Valentine's Day cards. I used to hate V-day for years, basically because I was single so often for it that I got bitter. Even when Avery and I were first together, I didn't like it, because our first Valentine's Day wasn't spent together (he was out to sea and I was in Illinois) and there were all sorts of mishaps related to him sending me flowers. Thus our first Valentine's Day as a married couple was met with skepticism. It wasn't perfect by any means, but Avery really worked hard for me to like it (despite forgetting to get me flowers...now that's a story!) This year I am looking at it with a new pair of eyes and seeing it not as the silly Hallmark holiday, but as also a day to show appreciation for the ones you love. So to all of you that I love: Happy early Valentine's Day (look for your card in the mail soon.) :-)

Back to the ordinary after visitors

The title says it all. We had a visitor with us last week. It was one of my former college roommates. She'd never been here so despite a sinus infection & a busy life I managed to play tour guide for her. We've never had anyone say at our house before that wasn't related to us, so I definitely learned a few things about having guests. Not that she was a bad guest, but when your name is Liz and you are a busy Navy wife you realize how hard it is to slow your life down to be a proper tour guide. Thus I think all future guests will need to invest in renting a car when staying with us. Now if they chose to stay in Waikiki a rental car may not be necessary. Anyway....lessons learned and a fun time was had. I definitely was forced to brush up on my Hawaiian history and actually am reading a book about Hawaiian history, since my interest in the history of where I live has been renewed. Anyway, she left on Monday and that meant it was time for me to accomplish all that didn't get accomplished last week. Here it is Friday and I finally feel like I am nearly all caught up. This weekend I am looking forward to doing a bit of homework, some laundry, going on a job interview and then just taking it easy.

Fertility update:
Have to wait until next week to have more tests done. However if I get a positive pregnancy test that will negate all such tests, so I am very much hoping for a positive test. Continued prayers on that front are appreciated.

School:
I changed my major from Healthcare Administration to Health & Human Services. I changed, because I really didn't like the management aspect and I know I do better when I am working directly with people. So I've switched and yes while it will push college graduation back yet again....I think this is for the best. When I get back to nursing in 2 years, this degree could help me work as a nurse in a public health setting and that is something I think I might really enjoy. Management just isn't for me.

Not much else to tell everyone. So I'll stop for now.

Absentee Voting & Fertility

The State of Illinois sent me my absentee ballot for the February 2nd general primary election today. The only I have to say: who the heck are half these people?? As of now I haven't a clue who to vote for, because despite my best efforts, let's face it...I am not up on my local Illinois politics. I called my Mom, who still lives there and even she didn't know some of the names. I intend to do a little internet research and hopefully find some non-biased information. I dislike voting when I am uninformed, though I have done that before.

As for life, it turns out the doctors were wrong and I do not have a re-occurrence of cervical cancer. So I am moving forward; my ob/gyn and I will be discussing my fertility this week. Without going into too many details, my sailor husband and I have been trying for 9 months now to conceive a child without any luck. Apparently in the military system after 6 months they'll consider you infertile and finally help you out. I wonder how this conversation is going to play out, because although I like my ob/gyn, let's face it the doctor has a few issues he needs to work out. The major one being that he really ought to look at a patient's chart before speaking with them. I would like to change doctors, but at the moment he's my only option, so I will do what I have to do.

As for my resolves: I am failing miserably at the homework one. I work better under pressure, so maybe that one doesn't make sense for me.

New Year, New Month, Revised Me

Well here we are in 2010. We started the year off quietly and in reflection. My husband and I decided not to have resolutions, but instead to have resolves. For 2010, he is resolving to exercise more and lose some weight. I am resolving to attend church at least twice a month, do my homework earlier in the week, and the biggest one: I am resolving to be happy. That sounds cliche' I know, but I was reading something another friend had written that said we control whether we are happy or not and that struck a cord for me. I think I believe that to be pretty much true. Upon reflection (and I had plenty of time in airports and on airplanes to do so) I realized that often I have chosen to just stay miserable. It is like it gave me something to do and well I'd rather spend my time being happy instead.

So here I am eight days into the new year and I want to say I've done well and I suppose I have, I did do homework a little earlier (but only in terms of hours...so that resolve will take more work) and I plan to attend church this Sunday. My resolve to be happy though has succeeded fairly well. I did let the hormones take control for a day there when I was just mad, but yesterday I got back on the happiness horse. Today I can say I am happy too, because despite the not so perfect life I made the choice to be happy today.

Determined

My title says it all. I am determined to blog more regularly about the happenings in my life. I even have a post-it note up in my office now that says "BLOG" to remind me.

Life updates: Avery and I got the the sad news this week that my cervical cancer has returned. It was not expected at all. We both figured I'd go in for the check-up, get the "everything is normal" speech and hopefully get a little help on the trying to have a kid front. That was not to be though, so alas we go through this holiday season hoping that God has a reason for this new development and that we might someday understand it.

As I write this Avery is at work, but thankfully no longer out to sea. I have never been so happy to have him come back in port, as I was this week. He is such a comfort and is definitely the calmer of the two of us.

We are going to St. Louis for the holidays to see my family. My Oma (Mom's Mother) is not doing well and we were told we really ought to come home and see her. So we cashed in a gazillion airline miles and are traveling out there. I am already dreading the long flights. I love flying, but the long flights from our island home to the mainland are just exhausting!

I took our kitties, Grace & Blackie, to the vet and they both got a clean bill of health. This is particularly good news since they were a few months over due on their shots. Opps! No worries though, they are fine now and all updated.

I best get off of this computer and begin my lazy Saturday.

Back after an extended absence

As is evident I never got back here to finish my ten day challenge. I have a strong desire to get back into writing frequently, but haven't yet done it.

Thanksgiving Day was interesting. My husband worked, so I went to the pier and spent time with him, before going over to a friend's house. It was neat to be on the pier and then to visit the submarine that my husband works on everyday. I am so grateful for him, our marriage and the work that he does in the Navy.

I am also grateful for friends who are close enough to be like family. What an incredibly lucky woman I am to have such a great circle of friends.

I leave this entry with a hope that I'll be back sooner then later.

Day 1

I didn't get a post in yesterday, because I was too busy reforming the American Health Care System for a homework assignment. Thus I have decided to make today day one of my writing challenge. Wednesday's post was just an introduction. :-)

Today's Topic: Becoming a Conservative

It seems to be as I've aged that I've become much more conservative about some issues. Yet, I wonder if maybe I was a conservative all along, but went through a period of teenage angst and have just returned to my roots. My parents weren't extreme conservatives, but I would definitely say that they had certain values that would be considered conservative. (Though in recent years, my father has become a little less rigid about some things.) Part of this, I believe to be part of our religion. My parents were both brought up in the Lutheran church and thus I was also brought up in that same church. As a freshman in college though, my faith took me in a new direction and I became a Catholic. I have never questioned this transition and still believe to this day that I made the right choice. The Catholic church has been there for me during some of the darkest days that I've ever had. My faith is a great source of comfort for me and if it contributed to my conservatism then I don't mind one bit.